The Programmer's Cheer

Shift to the left, shift to the right!Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!


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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"- "No..."- "Inheritance."


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If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.


If you can pick it up, it's a PC.If you can't pick it up but you can push it over, it's a minicomputer.But when you can't pick it up or knock it over, it's a mainframe.


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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many mariners were at that time on the sea, but the programmer was shouting "F1… F1" and nobody understood it.


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The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"


The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."


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APL is a write-only language.


In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.


C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.


A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.


PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or Fortran.


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Why all Pascal programmers live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level.