A very large or fiercely burning fire.
Friday 6 June 2008
PETROL
Following is the article from well-known Newspaper.
Find the detail break-up of the Final price of petrol available at fuel pumps.
This is a break up considering crude oil at 130 $ per barrel. Following details are for per liter petrol in Rs.
Basic Price = 21.93
Excise duty = 14.35
Education Tax = 00.43
Dealer commission = 01.05
VAT = 05.50
Crude Oil Custom duty = 01.10
Petrol Custom = 01.54
Transportation Charge = 06.00
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Total price = Rs 51.90
So for a Rs 22 liter petrol at pumps we people pay Rs 28 tax extra.
Govt. is thinking to impose more price hike to curtain with the current crude oil bubble in International oil crisis.
MORE DETAILS IN PETROL
Thursday 5 June 2008
Wednesday 4 June 2008
Why Client Server Computing is like Teenage Sex
It is on everybody's mind all the time.
Everyone is talking about it all the time.Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it.Almost no one is really doing it.The few who are doing it are: doing it poorly; sure it will be better next time; not practicing it safely.
The Programmer's Cheer
Shift to the left, shift to the right!Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"- "No..."- "Inheritance."
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If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.
If you can pick it up, it's a PC.If you can't pick it up but you can push it over, it's a minicomputer.But when you can't pick it up or knock it over, it's a mainframe.
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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many mariners were at that time on the sea, but the programmer was shouting "F1… F1" and nobody understood it.
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The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
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APL is a write-only language.
In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.
C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.
PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or Fortran.
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Why all Pascal programmers live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level.
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"- "No..."- "Inheritance."
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If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.
If you can pick it up, it's a PC.If you can't pick it up but you can push it over, it's a minicomputer.But when you can't pick it up or knock it over, it's a mainframe.
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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many mariners were at that time on the sea, but the programmer was shouting "F1… F1" and nobody understood it.
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The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
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APL is a write-only language.
In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.
C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.
PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or Fortran.
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Why all Pascal programmers live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level.
JOKES OF SOFTWARE ENGINEERS
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?
"I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."
"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."
"Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
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Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
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How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
"I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."
"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."
"Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
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Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
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How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
REAL SOFTWARE ENGINEERS...............
Real software engineers don't read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused.
Real software engineers don't comment their code. The identifiers are so mnemonic they don't have to.
Real software engineers don't write applications programs, they implement algorithms.
Real software engineers don't program in a language that doesn't have recursive function calls.
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness.
Real software engineers like C's structured constructs, but they are suspicious of it because they have heard that it lets you get "close to the machine."
Real software engineers admire PASCAL for its discipline and spartan purity, but they find it difficult to actually program in.
Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is described in the formal spec. Working late would feel like using an undocumented external procedure.
Real software engineers like writing their own compilers, preferably in PROLOG.
Real software engineers regret the existence of COBOL, FORTRAN and BASIC. PL/I is getting there, but it is not nearly disciplined enough; far too much built in functions.
Real software engineers aren't too happy about the existence of users. Users always seem to have the wrong idea about what the implementation and verification of algorithms is all about.
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